Smile at Fear
Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future…
~~~Fulton Oursler
Because we are afraid, we develop all kinds of habits which over time lead to addictions. Human beings are funny like that–We look for strength in the things that weaken us…
~~Pema Chodron, Dharma Teacher
I took this picture over Labor Day weekend while hiking the Continental Divide Trail (CDT) in New Mexico. For those of you with eyes over 40, that is a cow patty with flowers growing out of it. Lovely, isn’t it? 🙂
You have to understand the enormity of the canyon and the area in which we were hiking to fully appreciate this image–ginormous doesn’t begin to capture it. The CDT runs from Mexico to Canada, it’s hundreds of miles long. We were in the Rio Chamas Wilderness section, just a few miles from the CDT trail head in New Mexico. There are countless acres and square miles in which this flower could have planted itself, but it chose to land in cow poo and stay there, to use the inherent qualities of the excrement for fertilizer and grow just a bit taller and stronger than the surrounding flowers. Let us take some instruction from this brave little wildflower– it was not afraid to get down in the muck and take root in order to grow and thrive in an otherwise harsh desert environment.
This is the area in which we were hiking…gorgeous, yes. But fully sunny, hot and dry during the day, chilly at night. Deep in canyons surrounded by mountains in the Chamas River Wilderness Area, about an hour outside of Santa Fe, 13 miles back on a red dirt road then walking toward Ojitos Canyon on the CDT…Desolate but full of Life, a blank slate on which nature and Life can assert itself to grow and thrive.
So that little flower could have inserted herself anywhere. But Life doesn’t necessarily choose what is easy, Life chooses what is Life-Giving. And let’s face it: sometimes Life acknowledges that shit makes great fertilizer. But the truth is that as humans, we fear the pain, the stink, the stickiness, appearances of “how this will look,” so we go for what seems easy in the moment, rather than what might actually feed us and give us more life. But choosing the easier, softer way may not always be life-affirming; if we are not discerning, it can also lead to addictions and much more pain. Fear can make us choose things which in the moment seem easier–it seems easier in the moment to avoid tears and pain. But in doing so, we often strengthen habits which just lead to more pain and fear and so on and on the cycle goes. The biggest obstacle to true healing is our fear, because what usually happens in the middle of big healing experiences is that our fear arises and we shut down or check out. Yet we can also use that same fear to move us forward or feed us, to strengthen us and lead us to seeking out a new way of being. Discernment is the key here. (I wrote a more in-depth post on this concept called Spiritual Fruits or Just Nuts? You can read that here if you are interested. )
There is something really powerful and encouraging about knowing that since the beginning of time, humans have felt fear and elation, grief and joy, happiness and sadness, compassion and rage, resentment and forgiveness, hope and despair. The list of feelings and their opposites could go on and on, but the truth is we are not so different than our ancestors. All of the Religions of the Book and all of the sacred scriptures of each religion address this…each time the Angel of God comes to a prophet or recipient of Divine Love or Intervention, the first thing the Angel says is, “Be not afraid.” Not, “Hey Joe, it’s your lucky day!” But, “Fear not!” Fear is natural and human, but so is love. So is compassion. So is forgiveness and grace. It’s all true at once, and so we have to choose. We have to choose to heal. We have to choose to love. We have to choose to move forward in our fear, which of course is the hardest time to choose something. But it can be done and you don’t have to do it alone.
Humans have always divided off into groups or tribes and have always liked to talk about how civilized we are and how that group over there is so wrong or bad…you can see it now between Christians and Muslims, Muslims and Jews, Republicans and Democrats and on and on. But the real enemy, if there is an enemy at all, is our fear. Our fear of change, our fear of loss, our fear of success, our fear of failure, our fear of abandonment, our fear of getting what we want or not getting what we want, fear of really living, fear of what “they” will think, fear of how it will look if we ask for help or tell the truth of our lives, and on and on it goes. But if we get down to the basics of life, a Muslim parent in Afghanistan wants the same health and safety for his children that an American Baptist parent wants for his kids. We all want to be loved, to be nourished and to have happiness and freedom from want or suffering. We all want to be free of the things that bind us, we all want to feel safe and happy and know those whom we love are safe and happy as well.
There is always something in the press about 9/11 and our fear based reactions to that date, to that event. What people fail to remember is that Iran was the first country to send condolences to the United States after the Twin Towers fell. Yes, Iran. Not Great Britain or Israel, but Iran. They were the first country to hold a prayer gathering and other Muslim countries quickly followed suit, because in that moment we were not enemies without official relations, we were all just human beings, all feeling the horror of the enormity of that loss. Human compassion was able to override fear and mistrust and bring forth compassion and prayer. Mistrust reigns again, but in the deepest moments of need, compassion can always take root. Like that flower, Life can always find a way to grow through the pain, through the fear, through what looks like shit, and come out smelling like a rose on the other side. Life just does that, because Life is rooted in Love, in our Oneness, in our connection.
The danger comes when we decide to root into our fears and just create more fertilizer in our life without ever really planting good seeds of compassion, growth, love or humility. The seeds we plant will always grow–of this there is no doubt. And poo makes great fertilizer regardless of the seeds, but as any gardener knows, too much fertilizer can also kill the plant. So when in fear, I have some choices…Will I ask for help? Will I be discerning about which seeds I am sowing? Resentment seeds seem to germinate faster than seeds of compassion, but both need fertilizer to grow. So which seeds am I planting today, which seeds am I feeding? What do I want this garden of my life to look like in a few months? Because have no doubt–the seeds you plant today will be harvested tomorrow. You can call it karma or what comes around goes around, you can call it fair or unfair, you can call it what you want and what you call it won’t change what it is: your responsibility. It us up to each of us to choose which seeds we will nurture and feed, because we all carry the seeds of hate and love, fear and faith, hope and despair within us. We can choose. I can choose. You can choose. It is not always easy, but it is always possible. This does not mean shutting off feelings, but really honoring them, inviting them in like a wise guest and accepting the gifts they offer us. It means we can choose which seeds we will cultivate over time, what we will feed, what we will harvest in the future. If you plant apple seeds you are not going to get pear trees, that’s just a fact.
The Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron speaks of smiling at our fear and of embracing it, and speaks of the Buddhist saying,
Place your fearful mind in the cradle of loving-kindness…
It is a beautiful image of holding our own pain and fear with the same gentle loving-kindness we would extend to a beloved child. Fear is not the enemy. The “other” is not the enemy. What we truly wrestle with is our own inner demons, our own fears, our own sense of inadequacy. Our fear of not having enough makes us cheat or lie, steal or withhold, go too far or not far enough, hold back or shut down, hurt ourselves and others. Interestingly, the definition of a fully enlightened being is one who is fearless because they are intimate with their fear. Not that they don’t have fear, but that they have smiled at it, befriended it, invited it in like a wise teacher and discussed its gifts over a cup of tea. The enlightened ones are fearless because they know the nature of fear and no longer fear their fear, not because they have managed to shut it down or off permanently. This I like very much, this I find tremendously encouraging.
So today, like that little flower, we can choose to plant seeds of growth and abundance, of rooting down into the people, places and things which help us grow, regardless of how it might look from the outside. Today we can choose to plant seeds of compassion and love, of forgiveness and loving-kindness and just stay with it, even if it feels or smells like shit in the moment. Today we can smile at fear.
If you would like to watch Ani Pema Chodron talk about Smiling at Fear, you can see a snippet of that video below.
Wishing everyone peace and blessings and the peace and joy that comes from knowing we are all One, even in our fears. Have a great day.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIOaJ7g09YM]
I’d Never, Ever, Ever, Ever…
Hello all! Blogger Slacker is making up for lost time, at least for today. This is not an original post, in fact it is a total copy job from Lynne Farrow. This is such a beautiful post that I wanted to pass it along. If you’d like to learn more about her or her work, you can find her here. Enjoy!!!
I’d Never, Ever, Ever, Ever. . .
Some days the teacher’s not the teacher. Some days wisdom rises up through a single voice to give voice to our collective experience and pain.
We’re working on an Inside/Outside project at The Lighthouse, a faith-based residential treatment program for women recovering from substance abuse, for the next few weeks. Someone in recover recently said that what goes on in her inside often doesn’t match how she looks on the outside. She may look to others very put together, but feel wretched on the inside. So our art project is to explore that dissonance and explore steps toward becoming more congruent.
Last Friday’s art piece was an exploration of the negative self-talk each of us lives with daily. While we may speak ten thousand words a day in conversation with others, we might speak millions of words to ourselves in an unchecked internal conversation of comparisons, complaints, putdowns, and condemnations. Those critical voices I’ve come to call the committee that meets inside our head and votes against us. Part of recovery is to slow down that internal talk and check it out – identify it, examine the grain of truth in it, and update it to constructive self-talk.
Each woman was invited to create an image, on the inside of a manila folder, including the most common negative self-talk she speaks to herself. Many of their drawings contained similar words and phrases – stupid, ugly, you’re a loser, only good for sex, you’re a monster, I’ll never change, you’ve ruined everything, and on and on… When it was Amy’s turn to share her painting, the anguished honesty of her words were powerful – ”I’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever….say to another person the things I say to myself.”
Sometimes we are so much more able to love our neighbors than ourselves. And if we’re going to extend that same kind of love to ourselves, we may have to tackle the committee that meets inside our head and votes against us. We may have to fire a few, instruct others on being appropriately supportive (which also includes constructive feedback and caution), and discourage others from globalizing, catastrophizing, degrading, and condemning, just to name a few.
If you were to draw a picture of the committee that meets inside your head, what would it look like? Who would be a part of it? And what would they say? Are there some folks that meet inside you head and vote against you that you might like to give some loving guidance to? What would you say to them? How might that change any negative self-talk you might have?
I’ll look forward to your comments. I love it when you describe the art work you would create in response to one of my questions.
The Most Important Thing
Death is certain. The time of death is uncertain. Knowing this, what is the most important thing?
~~Buddhist wisdom
I’ve thought about that question a lot lately. My mom spent several days in the hospital recently, which means I’ve spent a lot of time at a hospital as well. She is home now, sleeping soundly, and I write this from their house. Today was more doctors, more tests, more of walking the path that comes at this stage of the disease she is living with and dying from. It is an interesting path and an interesting time.
While that is a personal thing, I also have been reflecting on how universal it is as well. There has been recent tragedy in our country with the situation in Arizona, but there were also many people who risked their own lives to help others that day. I talked to several folks this week who have lost friends or family members recently to some form of illness or calamity…deaths, fires, suicides, disease…lots of broken glass, broke and hungry, broken hearts, broken dreams, broken bones. Yet nearly everyone I spoke with has already found some good that arose from the hardship. I think of that question from Buddhism a lot in times like these. But the truth is, it’s always times like these. Mostly good, some pain, always something noble and beautiful to find in the ashes. I was thinking that in all of life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. It’s very much about what we deem “the most important thing.”
As usual, thinking about that led me to thinking about something else and then down the path of convoluted thoughts my mind goes. And lucky you, Dear Reader, to stop by this blog and get sucked into that wacky mess, so here we go together 😉
My mother is very sick and someday, probably sooner rather than later, she will die. I am not sick, but someday I too will die. Now, while my personality and activity level are geared more toward the likelihood of being eaten by a bear in some remote woods than towards getting cancer, the truth is that someday I will leave this body. I feel very okay with that knowing in this moment. I suppose if I was gasping for air in an ER I might feel differently about it. But when thinking about it in the abstract, it feels very much okay in this moment.
So, following the convuluted thoughts of the mind, this led me to thinking about Ram Das and his wisdom. He has often said,
Our journey is about being more deeply involved in life and yet less attached to it.
As usual, that thought led me to thinking about my attachments and aversions, about the places I want to be more deeply involved but less attached, to love more but cling less. I watch my mother sleep, watch the sands of time pass through this particular hourglass, watch her breath rise and fall and know someday that will cease. I have a deep desire to be deeply involved in this process and a deep desire to be less attached to it. I have a deep desire to be very mindful of my own process in this time, to always be mindful that being self-conscious is not the same thing as attaining self-knowledge.
I find a practice of striving for self-knowledge is more fruitful when I look for the good in any experience or situation, when I look for the most important things in complex situations. What I often find is that the most important things are usually simple… relationships, love, gratitude, curiosity and a sense of humor. This does not mean denying there is pain, but it does mean acknowledging great gifts often come from painful experiences. When I find the good in a situation, I find it often comes from good people, which leads me to believe the Divine and the Universe are good as well. Because All is One, that means I am good as well, and all shall be well. Granted, sometimes that process takes a minute. But in knowing all shall be well, I can relax and again rest into the most important things. Thomas Merton said that the more we try to avoid suffering, the more we suffer, and I think he was right. A Chinese proverb says,
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
So, in this time of watching, waiting, living and being with all that is, I think the most important thing is to relax, take some deep breaths, try to let go of the tension that comes from painful experiences and just be. This led me to thinking about Chapter 4 of Philippians, one of my favorite verses in the Bible…
Rejoice always…Let your gentleness be evident to all. God is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Peace.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things…And the God of peace will be with you.
So tonight, I’m sitting with knowing that just being here, present to this moment, is the most important thing. I’m sitting with remembering that this very moment is the best teacher, and she is always with us. I’m sitting with knowing that the most important thing is to just be here now, to focus on what is lovely and joyful. The most important thing is to love well, to live fully and openly, peacefully and with thanksgiving.
So tonight, may you find whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable and praiseworthy. In that and in all things, may you find a peace which passes all understanding, and may you find rest and joy in the most important things.
Night moon 😉
Happenings at MABA
This pic was lifted from the MABA site, but this is what it looks like out there as the sun comes up. It’s a gorgeous and peaceful place. The monastics are going to be entering into their winter retreat, but I wanted to post this for New Year’s Eve and the winter study groups. Happy New Year to all of you, peace and blessings and good vibes! The rest is a straight cut/paste from their flier. I hope this finds all well and at peace. I will post again in 2011!
Dear Friends,
See information from MABA below on
1. New Year’s Blessing Assembly
2. Monastic Retreat Schedule
3. Mahayana Buddhist Study Group
4. Sunday Schedule and Meditation Instruction for the Winter 2011
This will be one of the few emails from us until March 2011.
Dharma Blessing Assembly At MABA Friday, December 31, 2010
7:00pm Arrival & snack
8:00 Sitting and Walking Meditation
9:00 Sharing & Tea with the Monastics
10:10 Prepare coats and shoes
10:20 Dharma Talk by Master Jiru
11:00 Loving Kindness Meditation/Reciting Buddha’s Name
11:30 Offering of Regrets & Intentions, Light
Candles, walking around the Standing Buddha.
Ring the bell at 12:00 midnight for the blessing and peace to all sentient beings.
All are welcome!
A Very Happy, Healthy, and Peaceful New Year
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Monastic Winter Retreat Schedule
The Monastics will be in Retreat from January 3 through March 27, 2011. Laypersons are welcome to join the Monastics for a week or longer. The weeks are divided into Meditation Weeks and Meditation/Study Weeks. The schedule is attached for those interested. A reservation is required.
Please contact Ven. Kungshih at office@maba-usa.org
***************************************
Mahayana Buddhist Study Group Chesterfield, MO
7-9 pm on every other Thursday, starting Jan. 6, 2011
Information has already been sent. If you are interested, it is not too late to join our Study of the Lankavatara Sutra. Contact Don shushu at donshush@yahoo.com
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Sunday Schedule at MABA from January 2 through March 27, 2011
Please see below the MABA Schedule during the 2011 Winter Retreat. The Monastics will be in retreat during January, February, and March. During this Retreat period there will not be any formal Dharma talks. Instead there will be two meditation sittings for experienced meditators. For those who are not as experienced, there will be meditation instruction and a discussion group.
Those who attend most or all of the discussion groups will be well prepared for the Spring Mayahana Buddhist Study Group.
2011 Winter Sunday Schedule
When weather is an issue, please consult your email or call MABA
9:45 am – Arrive
10:00 am – Sitting Meditation
(or Introduction to Meditation to Beginners
& Open Discussion With Senior Dharma Student- see schedule below)
10:40 am – Walking Meditation (Discussion Group joins)
10:55 am – Sitting Meditation (Discussion Group joins)
11:30 am – Chanting
11:45 am – Vegetarian Lunch
Schedule of the 10-10:40 Morning Discussion
Downstairs in the Library
Each Discussion will begin at 10 am with a 15 minute meditation orientation regarding sitting and walking meditation practice.
We will also have a loose, informal, discussion about a topic related to Buddhism facilitated by one of the senior students. We plan to have a booklet put together on each topic for those interested. Topics are listed below.
Date Topic Facilitator
Jan 2 — Four Foundations of Mindfulness I – Xianyi Sharon
1. Jan 9 — Four Foundations of Mindfulness II — Xianzhi Katty
2. Jan 16 — Giving- Dana (starting point for Anupubbi-katha) – Xiankuan Don
3. Jan 23 — Virtue (Sila) – Xianyi Sharon
4. Jan 30 — Heavens (Sagga) (Realms and Brahma-vihara) –Xiankuan Don
5. Feb 6 — Gratification, Danger, Escape kāmānaṃ ādīnava — Xianzhi Katty
6. Feb 13 — Renunciation nekkhamma – Xianyi Sharon
7. Feb 20 — First Noble Truth of Suffering Dukkha (Four Noble Truths cattāri ariya-
Saccāni — Xianwen Tracy
8. Feb 27 — Cause of Suffering – Tanha –Xiankuan Don
9. March 6 — Cessation of Suffering Nibbana — Xianzhi Katty
10. March 13 — Eightfold Path to the Cessation of Suffering – – Xianyi Sharon
11.March 20 — Triple Jewel triratna — Xianwen Tracy
12. March 27 – Three Baskets Tipitaka (Preparing for Study of In the Buddha’s Words) –
Xiankuan Don
Showers of Mercy (rerun)
Surely Goodness and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of God forever…
~~Psalm 23
Hello all 🙂 I’m going to be off the grid the next several days, but I wanted to do another 2010 post before I leave. It seems like a good time for a few “best of” posts, so here ya go… It is interesting to me that I originally posted this one in July, but I won’t have to change a single word for it to be applicable again today. A lot of folks are having a rough time right now, it’s been a deep year for a lot of people. I think that given the year a lot of folks have had, being reminded of goodness and mercy might be good thing.
I love that part of the 23rd Psalm, I love thinking that the deepest qualities of the Divine–Goodness, Love and Mercy–are always with me. I love knowing Love is the House of God and I am always in that house. I love knowing that even with all the pain and fear we all experience in a lifetime, there is also goodness and mercy. There is something comforting to me about knowing these qualities have been around as long as humans have roamed this earth. Even things that feel so personal are also so universal, and there is something deeply comforting to me in that.
I hope this finds all of you experiencing Showers of Mercy today….without further ado, here is your holiday double dip ;)…
I’ve gotten a few 911 calls this morning from people in crisis or pain. This is such a deep time for people, it seems like everyone I know and most of my clients are in some kind of relationship shift, some kind of transition or deep grief. Lots of people are sick, lots of things are in a big transition. I am acutely aware of the pains and joys of the people in my inner circle and beyond…aware that like the breath rising and falling, life ebbs and flows, ever moving into something new and different. But the memories linger, the hopes and dreams and hurts and forgiveness become part of the fabric that is the weave of our lives, and I am always amazed by the way the taste of those things remain, lightly sweet yet heavy on the tongue.
As I am witness to the journey of others today, I am also thinking a lot about my grandmother. She’s been gone 9 years, the anniversary of her death is this week. I have never known a woman with more ancient wisdom about people, lumber, the growing of crops, of plants and what to do with them. She was a sharecropper and a child in the Depression, and could make anything out of nothing. She chopped cotton for years, worked in a saw mill for much of her life and somehow raised 9 kids on, as the expression goes down South, “spit and baling wire.” Everything she cooked seemed to have gravy on it, everything just tasted better at her house. She could take a cut rose (usually from a funeral arrangement, no less) and 1/2 a potato and — I’m not making this up– dig a hole and put them in the earth together and end up with a rose bush. I have tried this at least a dozen times and I just end up with a dead rose and a stinky potato. I’ve asked other family members about this–they all remember that she could do it, but no one knows how she did it.
I think wisdom is like that…not just knowledge, although that’s part of it. But a true wisdom of the ages, an understanding of how to do things that is simply long gone. Yet just because something is ancient, it doesn’t mean it’s obsolete. I watch myself and many others of my generation relearn things about gardening and sustainability that she just lived because it was what they did then. She was from a time that has entered the larger flow of history and is a distant memory for those left from her generation. She lived through an abusive husband, through wars and the development of antibiotics, through the advent of television and ballpoint pens, through computers and space travel and life and death and things that would destroy most people.
So this morning, I’m thinking of her and all those who knew and loved her, and all of us who love and have lost someone we love. Certain people leave a lingering taste on the lives of others, a smell and a sound that is always present, ripples in the waters of our souls that just keep echoing out into all we become. If I believed in Heaven, I would believe it smelled like her house and tasted like her cooking. It would smell like beans and cornbread, biscuits and bacon, fresh air and cookies, it would smell like wood stoves and sweet tea and a scent that was hers alone. It would have that same quality of light, that ringing laughter that made anyone with her laugh even more, a full-on delightful laughter that made babies grin and giggle. Even at the end when she was in hospice, she had the same quality of light…that mystical quality twilight has about this time in the summer when the fireflies are dancing in the fields, bestowing upon us a shower of grace and wonder as time rolls by; the quality Light has as a life becomes a memory but the love remains, ever-present, ever accessible, ever with us.
As is the nature of my stream of consciousness, this led me to thinking about other things, which led me to thinking about George Washington Carver (I realize this is quite a leap, but just try to follow the bouncing ball). Someone once asked him how he figured out so many things about peanuts and what to do with them. His response, “Anything will share its secrets with you if you love it enough,” is so beautiful, so instructive. I think this is why my grandmother ended up with rose bushes and I ended up with a pile of compost. She lived with and in her life, not at it. She went through a lot in her life, saw a lot, learned a lot, finished her GED when one of her daughters graduated from high school, made do and thrived on it. She is remembered fondly by all, and we still laugh about her laugh and how much we miss it. Stories about people don’t get a great deal better than that.
So that led me to thinking about a quote by Rabindranath Tagore, “If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.” She saw the sun and stars in everything and I just love that about her.
So today, when so many are having such a hard time, and I remember one of the beloved people in my life with sweet sadness but a big smile, I think of another Tagore poem, a beautiful prayer…
“My God, when the heart is hard and parched up, come upon me with a shower of mercy. When grace is lost from life, come with a burst of song.
When tumultuous work raises its din on all sides shutting me out from beyond, come to me, sweet God of silence, with your peace and rest.
When my beggarly heart sits crouched, shut up in a corner, break open the door, my king, and come with the ceremony of a king.
When desire blinds the mind with delusion and dust, O holy one, ever wakeful, come with your light and your thunder…”
To those experiencing grief today, we hold you in the tenderness of hope and joy, of compassion and sweet silence, of peace and rest. May you experience ever present showers of mercy and find the comfort of the ages in it. Above all, may you love something enough for it to tell you all its secrets, and bloom in that love. Years from now, may you remember those you loved, and they remember you, and may enduring loving relationships brighten your life. Showers of Mercy, indeed. Stories just don’t get a great deal better than that.
Happy New Year–May it be full of peace, blessings and Showers of Mercy
🙂 T
Distance Healing
“And God declares, I will restore you to health and heal your wounds…”
~~Jeremiah 30:17
A few months ago on the Blessings Blog, I started a conversation about distance healing. In the first post, I talked about science and research regarding distance healing. If you are interested, you can find that information in a post here.
Several people have asked me about distance healing lately, so I wanted to post that article again here. If you would like to learn more about healing in general, I wrote an article for The Heroic Journal about the difference in healing vs. curing, which can also be found here, in the July 11 archives of the Blessings Blog.
About half of my Blessings Enterprises practice involves distance healing. I have clients of all ages, all seeking a healer for different reasons on the surface…depression, anxiety, childhood illness, cancer and a myriad of other things. I have a lot of clients who feel good but want to feel great, who want to grow by working with a life coach or spiritual director, who want to develop a spiritual practice or just move through some challenging times. Everyone is welcome and everyone comes for a different surface reason, but all seek the same underlying thing–everyone is seeking healing. The people who come to me all have a certain level of faith that healing is possible, or they wouldn’t come to someone like me at all. Children often don’t know they are being worked on, but their parents have faith—or at least hope—and so they come seeking relief for whatever plagues the ones whom they love.
I think in order to have faith, you have to have hope. Yet many who come to me suffer from a true crisis of faith, a loss of hope or both. But I believe that buried under the fear or grief that makes a person feel as though there is no hope, there is a spark of life that remains, a soft spot that is open and receptive to healing. This is what opens us to even greater healing and often into a whole new way of being.
Distance healing is a different experience for the person on the receiving end only in the sense that you are not physically here. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t together. Buddhists, Hindus, Christians and most traditions incorporate distance healing into their repertoire of health and healing practices because it works and has worked for centuries. Because I believe All Is One and we are all connected at a deep collective and energetic level, I believe all healing is possible.
The Buddhist practice of Tonglen, Hindu and Buddhist practices of pujas or other ceremonies, Shamanic journeys in many traditions and intercessory prayer in the Christian tradition are just a few examples of distance healing practices. There are several Biblical examples of healing, but my favorite is the Healing of the Centurion’s Servant, found in the books of Matthew and Luke. A few things to keep in mind about this story…Let’s just say for the sake of argument that this all happened the way it is written. I’m not as concerned about the details as about the story and the events that unfold here.
A Centurion was a Roman soldier, sort of like an Army Captain. He had 100 men under him and was part of an occupying force in the city. Technically, since Jesus was a Jew, this man had authority over Jesus, the Centurion was an oppressor. But he recognizes the authority of Jesus to heal someone he loves, and because he understands authority—even when he isn’t present—he has faith that Jesus can heal his servant at a distance. The book of Luke says that the centurion’s other servants came to Jesus, not the centurion himself. While there have been some arguments over the two versions of this story, to me it remains the same, because I understand representatives and authority. Put another way, if I have authority over you and send you as my representative, it is as if I came myself. It’s no different than us expecting our elected representatives to really represent us, or knowing the Secretary of State represents the President and entire U.S. when she travels abroad.
The Faith of the Centurion (Matthew 8:5-13)
When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.”
Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.”
The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. …Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that very hour…
This is the essence of what distance healing is all about. Someone we love needs healing, and so we seek that out, even if the “someone” is us. So many people show up at my door saying they cannot believe, saying they cannot love themselves, full of self-hatred or fear, depression or anxiety. But the truth is that’s not who you are. The truth is that another thing Jesus says in the book of Matthew is true and that is,
You are the Light of the World.
Because you are the Light, and I am the Light, and we are all in that Light together as One, this allows distance healing to be possible. The Centurion understood this in a way even the followers of Jesus did not. He understood that when we use the gifts we’ve been given, it plugs us into the reality and understanding of that Light. He understood that to ask in faith and to really be in our own authority as the giver and as the receiver opens the door for healing. He understood that the healing he sought for his loved one was physical, but the true healing taking place was spiritual. The Centurion didn’t have to ask for this—the man for whom he sought healing was a slave. But he loved him. And that love opens him up to asking, which opens him up to receiving, which opens everyone up to healing.
In a previous Blessings Blog Post, I spoke of the science of healing. But there is an aspect of healing that is so personal, yet so universal, that science may never capture it–the art of love. Love makes us do things for others society tells us we shouldn’t, like a Roman military officer approaching an oppressed subject seeking healing for a slave. Distance healing is outside the mainstream western understanding of curing. But healing can take place at any time, any place, in many ways.
Just as you can love someone at a distance, pray for them or remember them fondly at a distance, you can heal at a distance. Just as you can feel the agony over the suffering of the pains of the world and of loved ones and seek out a cure, you can look for that at a distance. All of the religions and spiritual traditions have practices and beliefs about this and in their most pure form teach this concept. The religions are not the same, yet the mystics of each tradition share similar experiences and tell us over and over that we are One with the Divine. Separation is illusion. Because you are One with all that is, healing at a distance is possible, because the distance truly is only in your mind–it is an illusion.
I believe it is our Divine right to be happy, healthy, whole and free. This does not mean that we won’t have struggles or get sick, need healing or have a full range of emotions. That is your direct experience so be with it and really see what it can offer you, whatever it is. The great mystics, shamans, teachers and healers all got sick, all had severe illnesses and pain and all said it made them better healers and teachers. As the saying goes in Zen,
The obstacle is the path. No pain, no compassion.
Needing a healer isn’t failure or evidence of some terrible spiritual malady. It just means you are at a place in your journey in which you can come more deeply into who you are and who you were created to be. I believe by doing so, regardless of your beliefs about God or any particular faith tradition, that you can find a depth you may not have experienced before. You can call this God or your soul, your Buddha nature, your karma, your prana or any number of other things. What you call it won’t change what it is—pure essence, pure energy, pure Light. And you share that essence with every living being, science proves that over and over, and the mystics teach it again and again.
As the saying goes, we are not promised a quiet journey, just a safe arrival. Sometimes we need another person to help us with the journey, a guide and a witness to help us honor our path. Healing is part of that and just like love, healing comes in many people, places and things. And just like with love, distance is irrelevant.
If you have questions about distance healing, or healing in general, or would like to ask a question or make a comment, feel free to do so on the blog or contact me directly.
Peace and blessings.
Happy Merry all you may celebrate this time of year!
Seek and ye shall find
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